proudeagle8


Revision

 

Reread your draft

 

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Nifty nouns

Vivid verbs

Simile

Alliteration, assonance, or consonance

Personification

Imagery

 

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Perched proudly on the pine branch above the frozen shore with waves stopped in time, Fluffed feathers warm the resting eagle from the arctic wind,
Suddenly, swiftly
Straight down like an arrow
the eagle dives daringly into the broken blanket of ice
Returning boldly with its captured carp: dinner divine.

Cloudy day

Windy way

No sun; the day's begun.

Wind and bluster;

Coldly flustered

The eagle feathers fluff

He looks tough and rough.

 

 

Perched proudly

on the pine branch

above the frozen shore;

The waves stopped in time,

Fluffed feathers warm

the resting eagle

from the arctic wind.

 


Suddenly, swiftly
Straight down like an arrow
the eagle dives daringly into the broken blanket of ice
Returning boldly

with its captured carp:

dinner divine.

 

Slitting scales

and skin

Mangling meat

and gently

pushing the

magnificent meal

into the waiting, squawking

beaks of

its

eaglets.

 

Early morning;

a cloudy day

with windy ways

and no sun;

only grey skies

stretching on and on

like an endless tunnel

in a silent storm

stopping the world.

 

Until

"Aaaeee"

announces to all:

"Awaken.

Awaken."

 

Coldly flustered

The eagle feathers fluff

He looks tough and rough.

 

 

Perched proudly

on the pine branch

above the frozen shore;

The waves stopped in time,

Fluffed feathers warm

the resting eagle

from the arctic wind.

 


Suddenly, swiftly
Straight down like an arrow
the eagle dives daringly into the broken blanket of ice
Returning boldly

with its captured carp:

dinner divine.

 

Slitting scales

and skin

Mangling meat

and gently

pushing the

magnificent meal

into the waiting, squawking

beaks of

its

eaglets.

     
       

 

 

Early morning;

a cloudy day

with windy ways

and no sun;

only grey skies

stretching on and on

like an endless tunnel

in a silent storm

stopping the world.

 

Until

"Aaaeee"

announces to all:

"Awaken.

Awaken."

 

Coldly flustered,

The eagle fluffs feathers

Hovering closer, deeper

into its nest of two huddled

eaglets.

 

Perched proudly

on the knotty nest

straddling the pine branches

above the frozen shore--

The waves stopped in time;

"Aaareee," the

resting eagle scolds

the arctic wind whisking

the branches back and forth,

a cradle rocking.

 

"Aaareee," again and

the wind washes softer

over the ice

into the pine

around the coat of

feathers.


Suddenly, swiftly
Straight down like an arrow
the eagle dives daringly

into the broken blanket of ice,
Returning boldly

with its captured carp.

 

"AAAAeerrrreeeee," the eagle

warns the wind again;

 

"Aa-ee,"reminds the

eagle: "awake and eat."

A squirrel peels a pinecone.

A sparrow flits

onto a prairie rose branch.

 

The eagle's beak

slits the scales

and skin,

Mangling the meat to
gently

push the

magnificent meal

into the waiting, squawking

beaks of

its

eaglets.

 

"Ah-eee."